Single this Valentine’s Day? Focus on yourself

By Elizabeth Czapski | Staff Writer

Valentine’s Day can be a bummer for single people.

While some are content flying solo, for those who are not happily alone, the holiday can provoke anxiety and loneliness as friends post photos of roses, sweets and dinner plans on social media. But it all comes down to perspective.


Relationship expert, Sara Haynes advises singles to see Valentine’s Day as an opportunity to celebrate all kinds of love, not just romantic love.

Self love is also important. “[Think] about yourself and what you love about yourself. [Use] it as the time to reflect on you, and celebrate you as a person,” Haynes said.

It’s important to treat yourself with compassion on Valentine’s Day, as well as every day, Haynes said.

”“Really lean into the hard feelings of what it’s like to be single. It’s definitely not always easy, especially if you’re at a certain stage in your life where you thought you would be somewhere else. … Say, ‘Yeah, this kind of sucks, but I am here right now and I want to focus on what is present in my life.’”

Sue De Santo, a relationship coach and licensed clinical social worker, believes loving who you are is vital. “Before we can be in [a] relationship we have to really focus on, ‘What is it that I want [and] need in my life, and what do I enjoy?’” she said.

Valentine’s Day can be a good opportunity to hone in on what your interests are. In short, do something you like.

Buy yourself flowers or make yourself a nice breakfast, De Santo said, and focus on “developing a relationship with yourself.”

“We have to give to ourselves first so that we are open to receiving that [love] from another person,” she said. “Really [allow] yourself to receive that love we say we want.”

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